Day 1
Direct my footsteps according to Your word
On hearing it, many of His disciples said, “This is a hard teaching. Who can accept it?” (John 6: 60).
I wrestled over the decision for days. But finally I came to terms with myself.
"I need to tell you something," I began tentatively. And then, my inner conflict still raging, I blurted out quickly, "I can't take the job!" There! I had said it. After all the wondering, the agonizing, and the second-guessing, I had finally done what I knew I had to do.
I felt a mixture of emotions. Relief, certainly, but also dejection, and uncertainty about the next step. The hiring process had taken months, and everything had seemed so right. Until the "hiring covenant" I was required to sign.
"I cannot in good conscience sign it," I told her. I went on to explain why it would be impossible for me to attest to something that would essentially be untruthful.
For a split second, I wondered if I was crazy. The hard truth was that I was turning down a job—a good job I had worked hard and waited long to achieve. But deep inside, as difficult as it was, I knew it was the decision I had to make.
Some decisions are like that—deeply personal—driven by what we hold to be important and inviolable. Like Peter and the other disciples in the John 6 account of "the great desertion."
While teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum, Jesus had delivered some very mystifying truths. So mystifying that His disciples were grumbling about this (John 6:61). Hard teaching, was their complaint—completely unacceptable from their perspective (John 6:60).
In fact, they found Jesus' references to eating the living bread and drinking His blood so offensive that from this time many of His disciples turned back and no longer followed Him (John 6:66). It was then that Jesus asked the Twelve in His inner circle for a decision, “You do not want to leave too, do you?” (John 6:67).
And from a place of deeply personal conviction, Peter answered for himself and the other disciples, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6:68-69).
Later, the disciples, (with the one exception identified by Jesus (John 6:70-71)) came to understand that the hard truths Jesus had presented that day were not that hard after all! With hindsight, they were able to recognize His hard teaching as the metaphorical portrayal of His death, burial and resurrection—and the redemption His sacrifice would accomplish for all who believe.
In time, the disciples better understood what Jesus meant when He told them, “I have much more to say to you, more than you can now bear" (John 16:12). They better understood the magnitude of their decision to hold fast to the One who held the words of eternal life, even when the words seemed like hard truths.
By the way, my own hard truth? It also, didn't turn out to be that hard after all. To my great surprise, the manager understood and appreciated my perspective, and after some discussion and clarification, we were able to create some workable adjustments. She remained my manager until she moved on to another opportunity a few years later.
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